Friday, May 23, 2003
Mid the day.
Joan Joy and me wento church.
We were there for th baptism of Mr Singh wo calles me Mr Pip.
He gets confirmed on Sunday the 15th June 2003 and as a lead in was truly and wonderfully baptised today ......living water, wondously moving and a privelege indeed. Stephen the Vicar led the little service around the original font in this 150 year old church.
I have so many experiences and real life stories of this great man and, if my fingers worked better I would move your soul.
Now to the big Rugby League game of the day ..... hey hey
bhp
from thur hart
i wark into thur rum for Pips sesion and feel that this is thur onle place to unberdin my heart and let uthers now how i am feling deep down inside ov mi hart.
but ther is a problim, i find it hard to comunikate with uthers, as thur pepil seem to alwaes interrupt or start cawling me names like shorty or midgit and then i cannot lok into thier faces as i want to cri. but i canot kri here or mi life wood be made unberible.
this is thur resin that i find it hard to make frends.
but i so depiritley want them to no how i am feling when thae act like thae do towards me. i find it hard enuf to tork let alone rite about what i am feling as i am dislexic and when uthers make fun ov me i do not fel gud about miself.
i fel worthlis and not akseptid for hwo i riely am.
Pip keps teling me that i am a biutifil humin persin but it is dificilt to c that when i have this in mi face each and every dae!
Raheelah Al-Abdul-Aziz
.....got me new 7500 tunes ....... iPod now and NOW I can tke my whole juke-box on holiday or train and will now never ever forget taking a groove to Greenbelt ......life has began NOW.
Do you want to know my latest grooves?
bhp
..... it is his baptism today.
Will let you know how it goes.
bhp
The park outside my window we call 'The Mystery'. Because someone, no-one knows who, a generous civic-hearted person, donated it to the city 150 years ago. We don't know who. But we know why. It's in the deeds: Wavertree Playground was and is to be strictly preserved for the leisure of the people of Liverpool.
It's not one of those fancy parks with palmhouses and mazes and elaborate floral displays - the city's rich with them as well. It's just a big, flattish piece of green. If you enter Liverpool by inter-city rail you'll see it on the right-hand side just after the train dips below Penny Lane bridge and begins its vast sweep into the tunnels of Lime Street. Footballers, runners, dog-walkers, revision-worn students, short-cutting cyclists, whimsical curates, all love it.
Tonight it's home to a travelling band. Fairground folk, who visit here each year at this time. They're huddled in a corner sheltered by the railway embankment from the Westerlies coming in off the Mersey. Today they built a big tower, from which this weekend many screaming scousers will bungee-jump. And the sky above them just now is crimson. After days of rainy grey misery - one of those wonderful sunsets which have for centuries inspired people like me, who just love the look of this coastline. Poets, lovers, dog-walkers, painters. Most notably, Turner. No, no, not Andy Turner....
So many people in pain.
Having my dinner and a conversation begins where the tears run down the persons face and the other fluid runs out of the nose and mingles into one. One flow of brokeness and sadness and hopelessness.
Sobs which shake the body. "you are loved when you are down as much as when you are up" I say.
No food is desired. A cup of tea and then to three.
Then the breathing eases and the time spent is clearly valuable and precious like this beautiful human is.
This three foot between us, the most valuable space on the planet. This eye contact through the tears ........ magnifying the love at a point of massive need.
God bless I feel.
God loves I feel.
Now, as I write, the feelings become even more powerful because now I can pray. Now I can reflect. At the time it was the yearning, the yearning to connect and to love, which dominated.
As I look around me I see more people than skill and professionalism can meet. Who says we don't need God in the cyber world.
Bless you, as you have cared to read.
Bless .................
It is late night and he wanted to talk.I had never seen him before. He is 24 and an alcoholic. He said this. Non of my imposing.
The first thing he said ........"I was reading what you said (in my notes pushed under every door of the hostel) and it makes so much sense. It makes me feel so good. The philosophy is so good for me"
He wanted to talk and he had been drinking. He flowed. Articulate. Not out of his head. He is waiting for a de-tox programme and is getting professional help. He needs it with the booze culture and the wacky- backy culture which he and so many others are caught up in as a normal way of life. He could not articulate his feelings. Just a jumble of thoughts and words to describe his tortured soul.
I valued him. Pointed out his crisp intelligence and honest openness in communication. I listened and he shared. I stretched myself into little inputs of memorable self help tips which he could hang his feelings on. He has a big day before him. He has choices only he can make. He has my prayers and deep feeling. He is 'ok' .....I am 'ok' ........ this beautiful human person needs a lover.
bhp
www.pipwilson.com
www.greenbelt.org.uk
"We are free to be free" Nelson Mandela
pip@pipwilson.com
Usually I get through my nightly Greenbelt computer sessions whilst a favourite CD plays in the background. Every now and again though, I have to cope with the multi-sensory experience that is working on the computer whilst listening to certain ‘can’t miss’ TV shows on the telly in the corner.
It’s painful enough trying to watch 24 in this manner, but now I see the new series of Six Feet Under is going to run up against it. So how’s that supposed to work then?
Ahh... video recorders you say ;-)
Still at least Big Brother starts soon. Perfect background noise ;-) Or as Father Ted would say: “chewing gum for the eyes”.
Tonight’s pile of emails included one from Oliver (GB’s Programme Manager), that has left me with a huge grin on my face…if only I could tell you!
..........just been viewing some old gb vids ......I have some classic ones of willie williams doing 'the very stinking late show' filming under the name of 'trouser television'. He went on to do 'zoo tv' and 'pop mart' with U2 with a £60m pound budget. The film archives will be out in full stylie for the shows at Greenbelt .....whatch out on the programme for the best yet ....with ticket sales from heaven ...... the heavenly host must have bought in !!
bhp
....... have a curry with real friends is good. Could be my favorite pastime ......... but I have too many to say that .........interesting that the curry house in Romford had a big family with a table full of lager, wine and after they had champagne. The old east-enders would have been down the pub and downing the beer. Times have changed. Wine now is normal with us most days. When I was in my first 20 years at home I never saw wine, even at Christmas. Then the treat was a bottle of sherry.
This week-end I have had only social events and church. Good for the spring to unwind and catch some extra sleep and jump into to exciting grooves. I am still a groove robber.
Ordered new CD's .......I would rather burn CD's than people.
'dwele' (subject), 'victor duplaix' (internal affairs) and with my delight the new one by my favorite band from last year .....the cinematic orchestra (the man with the movie camera)............. got to get the grooves for our holidays .....hey hey
pip bhp
...what has been your 'greenbelt moment'?
I do not know my own answer to that but will now scan some 26 years to think of .....maybe my top three .........bhp
...website. Clean, easy, simple, white, crisp and it is UP ............ I always liked them GREEN CRISPS in the pack .....I identify with the minority, but lurve the whiteness of the site .........
bhp
.....watching Justin Timberlake on mtv and catching up on my e ,mail backlog only because I have wifi and can use laptop anywhere, even in the garden. Read today that pubs are getting into wifi with airports, stations, planes and of course the world will follow.
I like JT. I have the cd in my car "I just want to love you baby ......"
He can sing and can dance boy!
Still have Jazzanova/matthew Herbert as best buys this year.
Have you clocked the 'pearls' page on my website? Seen and read the pain and depth of the young humans who have allowed me to read their written work. You may have to move your curser over all the boxes of creative imaginative web design (thanx Charlie Jazzanova lova) .....and if you do this you will see you can click on even a little box of my handwriting and get some 'life' ......sometimes not pleasant reading ....but great for the soul ......it refreshes mine .......... hey hey
bhp
www.pipwilson.com